Saturday, August 27, 2011

What a week

It was one of those weeks. And I'm so glad it's over. I am so easily discouraged and this week really brought me down. I hate (I know...strong word) that I am like this. Discouragement is the devil's playground!! In retrospect I always ask myself why I expect someone to be who they're not. It's hard to understand why some people just don't have compassion or feel like I do. But they aren't me and I have to continue to tell myself that.
I was talking with Lee on Friday and I was having a rough time. He is so understanding and encouraging to me and I am so thankful for that. He said to me "why don't you stop worrying about what you don't have and start focusing on what you do!". And that really opened my eyes. I must admit that I easily slip into a negative rut. I certainly don't want to be this way, but I am. I look at the negative aspect more than the positive and it's something I want so much to change. It makes me sound like I am ungrateful and that's the farthest from the truth! But sometimes the perception can show differently than how I feel.
I don't know why I have always sought the approval of others and cared about what people think of me. I'm always seeking positive reenforcement and when I don't receive it I get in a funk. You know the funny think is is that deep down I KNOW that what I do is my best! I love deeply and with all of my heart and soul. I AM good enough for those who matter to me. I just have to start believing in me.
I know that I am a work in progress and that's ok. I am so grateful for the family and true friends that support me and truly love me for me:) I am so very thankful for them!

I've had this for about 4 years. I got it as a reminder everyday to believe in myself. I just need to remember to do it:)

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